we knew all the answers

and we shouted them like anthems.

shins was awesome. pops seemed a little lost at times - she only knew new slang and caring is creepy so she couldn't sing the words along with me, but she said she had a great time so i believe her. the best songs were so says i (jump around and go crazy...) and caring is creepy. i love that song so much. it reminds me of when i saw garden state for the first time and the gorgeous little swoop in my stomach when i heard the song and realised, even if i hadn't before, how much i was falling in love with the movie. and it's a beautiful song.

more beautiful songs i have acquired recently:

gomez - we haven't turned around

the dears - lost in the plot

broken social scene - lover's spit

bright eyes - lua
- the bottom of everything
- one foot in front of the other

rufus wainwright (just about anything he's ever done, really.)

scissor sisters - it can't come quickly enough

death cab for cutie - transatlanticism

i've been listening to way too much music and it's slowly rolling me into my rut again. especially as people i really want to talk to are away where i can't talk to them, and people i used to talk to don't seem to want to talk to me any more, and the next ten days stretches ahead of me like the road underneath the feet of an enigmatic protagonist!!!

i had a spack attack on sunday night, crying hysterically and storming out of the house and down the driveway in my bare feet and not even wearing a jacket, and then stopping to look at the stars as the tears ran down my cheeks. my dad came out and got me to come back inside. but for once my parents were remarkably understanding about it. i heard mum murmuring to my grandmother (mum's parents were down for my sister's birthday - way to make me feel good about the tantrum) as i sulked and listened to simon & garfunkel in my room. "she's waiting for her life to start" she was saying softly. not in a condescending, talking-about-a-toddler way, or making excuses for me. just getting it.

alison and gem move to canberra for uni tomorrow. maddy's already started tafe in sydney. and just like that our little girl-group is split up. we'll probably never all live in the same town again. who knows if we'll even still be friends once we've finished our degrees? i'm not being insecure for once, just realistic - they might find people who suit them better, who get them better, who are better at reading them and knowing them. i've known these girl for almost half our lives but only more time will tell if we were friends through circumstance, thrown together in a small school in a small town full of small minds, or if we were friends because we really wanted to be.

bright eyes - lua.
and for some reason i'm almost crying. why?